diamondpop:

When you’re listening to ARTPOP in public and Venus starts

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gayblowjob:

omg you’re straight!!? wow. like, how does that even work? how do you have sex? omfg when did you know that you’re straight? haven’t you tried being gay?! maybe you just haven’t met the right person yet…. but wow you’re straight. i have a straight friend. hi straight friend. HEY EVERYBODY THIS IS MY STRAIGHT FRIEND

iswearimnotnaked:

tODAY I MADE A TWITTER ACCOUNT FOR A BAGEL

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BUT I GOT TOO EXCITED AND STARTED FAVORITING ALL THE TWEETS CONTAINING THE WORLD “BAGEL” SO TWITTER SUSPENDED ME AND I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO SO I SENT THEM THIS EMAIL 

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AND THEY FUCKING UNSUSPENDED ME 

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